A’la Sanjay

Ten good things and ten bad things

 

Good Things

  1. She understood me and my personality and accepted the positives and negatives it entailed (at least for the time we spent together). We both shared a love for cute things, and she would call me a kitty which I absolutely loved
  2. She was a really adventurous person who was fun to explore with. We spent a lot of time together exploring new places (mostly restaurants tbh) and trying new things which was fun.  In general, she was just a fun person to be around.  I liked spending time with her
  3. I really appreciated her “don’t yuck someone else’s yum” philosophy
  4. She would buy me clothing and make up, and would listen and pay attention when I would say I wanted something
  5. She was super organized when we traveled and was generally helpful in planning things
  6. She would tease me in a playful way. It could get a little mean at times admittedly, but overall it was playful
  7. She was dedicated to improving herself
  8. She was fairly open minded about things like recreational drug use (oxy, benzos, etc.)
  9. I liked talking to her. She was really knowledge about a wide variety of topics, and had many topics she felt passionate about
  10. She tried to accommodate me in ways I didn’t know needed accommodating? Specifically trying to change things about herself that weren’t compatible with my needs, specifically communication needs
  11. She was good at communicating. It was possible to sit down and have a productive conversation (once we both got all the arguing, anger, and crying out of the way)
  12. She was super helpful academically.  Or rather, she was always happy to help me study (ready/edit essays, immunology, etc)

Bad Things

  1. Obviously, the big one is that she couldn’t ever see me as a serious boyfriend. That’s ultimately what the deal-breaker was and why she broke up with me
  2. In retrospect anger was the emotion she seemed to feel, or at least express to me most strongly? I can’t really remember times when she was overwhelmingly happy, but times when she was angry…
  3. Piggybacking off #2 she could be so hurtful when she was angry. There are still soundbites that play in my head from when she was angry.  Like when she told me I made her want to eat an entire pizza just so she could make herself throw it up
  4. The sex we had was actually pretty good. Around the end though it felt like having sex was more of chore for her rather than something she wanted to do.  I also think I would have liked to have a more adventurous sex life in the future.  Oh!  And someone who likes kissing, I miss kissing
  5. She could be pretty selfish at times. I spent some much time waiting for her outside her dorm, or downstairs in the lobby of her dorm, or in front of the elevator to go up to her dorm…  She asked me to change a lot of things about myself to make the relationship work, but she refused to change anything about herself.  She would try out different things, but we would ultimately end up fighting about whatever that thing was and we would either compromise or I would give in
  6. I wish she was a little clingier than she was. I like lots of communication and spending lots of time together when I’m in a relationship.  She wasn’t very clingy, or very affectionate.  In fact, she probably didn’t like touching terribly much?  She also hated how warm my body was, I should probably date someone cooler in the future.  This made cuddling difficult.  I love cuddling.  We did manage to compromise on this though, she would pick at my skin and hair when I wanted to cuddle
  7. Her main hobby was shopping. Convenient if I needed something?  Yes, but even when we went out together, she would be looking at sales on her phone
  8. She was very particular about food handling. While it sounds like a weird thing to put on the list, food played a large component in our relationship, especially cooking.  How things were handled in the kitchen was much more important to her than it was to me
  9. Fucking games on her phone. This one really bothered me, she would spend so much time playing games on her phone, even when we were only seeing each other once a week (upon her request).  This seriously bothered me
  10. She disliked my height and age. Couldn’t really do much about either of these things and knowing how strongly she disliked these traits seriously hurt my self-esteem
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